Archive - October 29, 2014

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Little Bird, Little Bird, Where Did The Time Go? An Empty Nesters first..
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Here’s The Thing…

Little Bird, Little Bird, Where Did The Time Go? An Empty Nesters first..

As holidays approach and what used to be standard is no longer, I am acutely aware that my son is out in this world, living a dream and exploring an opportunity he manifested into reality.  This is what we want for our children and we know the process is going to carry many emotions and we let  go and hold on in only a way that we can.

Normally, I would be decorating the house for the Fall season and Halloween, however I chose this year to leave behind the hype and colorful pieces of celebration.  Why?  The only conclusion I’ve come up with is that I feel like I have outgrown this particular feeling of needing and wanting this for myself.  Part of the joy was the collaboration of parties and decor with festive neighbors who had kids and we were all taking a part in the community hallows eve of doing it for the kids and it made us happy to see them happy, but mostly for me, it was the pure comfort of knowing my son quietly appreciated the fun end result of having a home filled with warmth.

So, with a nostalgic twinkle in my eyes and holding space in my heart, I watch other parents with their little ones, I watch them laughing,  I watch them taking part in these rituals that are really silly conceptually overall (whole different blog!), I watch them form their traditions that help weave the fabric of family that I once had the pleasure of creating as well.

There are a few other little birds  (my nieces & step daughters) my son and I used to celebrate these moments with as well.  These memories are embedded in my heart. Funniest part is, I am only at Halloween in my nostalgia! There is still Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years left!

As the year continues on, my heartspace grows to epic proportions of love and gratitude and I make my way by seeing the joy in others, creating some new traditions this year,  knowing that I am so blessed and have great new neighbors, great friends near and far, activities to keep me busy, time for creations that are being birthed and born in my business life, volunteering opportunities and family that I will see when they come to visit. I find peace knowing that my son is safe, sound and enjoying his creation of memories and making new friends.

This is just a snippet into my open heart of an empty nesters first season without her kiddo.  Remember time flies and so do our little birds. Enjoy Every Moment,

Love Julie xo

(PS) Doggy Love Moment:  My dog is like a 24 hour toddler so I always have him to love on and luckily for me, he accepts every pet, every kiss, every hug!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Here’s The Thing…

Based on a true conversation tonight. I received permission to relay the context of this story as it’s not really my story to tell, but there is such value here.

A friend called me and she was struggling after having these words said to her “here’s the thing” and it left her unsettled. Words are powerful and trigger so much in us at a core level.  W.O.R.D.S can trigger the obvious and hidden hurts of feelings we have yet to resolve or feelings we don’t want to associate with ourselves any longer.

My take, when emotions turn to rationalizing and rationalizing turns into excuses, excuses bottom out with a quick truth ending dialogue sometimes concluding with “here’s the thing”.

What exactly does that imply? Is that the bottom line? Yes, most often.  Is that the moment we acquiesce to our feelings? Yes, we are done investing energy.

I believe it sums up the way we choose to convey a truth. A truth that we no longer care to address or indulge in.  It’s a moving on statement.  “Here’s the thing” really is a point of disconnect, an I’m at my limit and no amount of talking, no amount of discussion, pleading, begging, crying or negotiating is going to change the situation of what is.

If someone uses this phrase on you or vice verse, remember, a simple kindness is to use a tone of understanding and empathy towards the person who is on the receiving end. It’s OK to stand your ground but there is no need to dismiss or diminish another persons feelings while you are in the throws of trying to escape. Sincerity and a firm position in your desire to exit is a wonderful way of being clear and being true to your cause. If you add in a little compassion, I believe Karma will be on your side.  Not everything in life is meant to be, how we handle it though builds character and valuable lessons.

I learn from my friends always and feel blessed that my friend was trusting enough to share this with me and then to let me share this with you.  Such important reminders as to how much power words can carry when we attach feelings to the words we internalize.

Julie xo

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