LOVING A WOMAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO BE LOVED…

I keep seeing these articles that talk about loving a girl, a woman, who doesn’t know how to be loved.  Right away a feeling of “savior” mentality washes over.  Well FUCK THAT!

What if you loved a woman who DOES know how to be loved?  What if she knows how to love you? What if you changed you’re whole entire pattern of choice by choosing the one who scares the shit out of you because they would stay? Because they will receive your love? What if, What if you were appreciated not on your savior skills but for who you genuinely are?

First off, women who know how to love, and be loved, are out there! Knowing how to receive love is so important because when you receive your partners love, you are telling them, I trust you. I trust us.

A woman who knows how to love and be loved, knows the importance of communication and that sometimes communication mishaps happen. It’s not something to freak out over, it’s something to allow you the opportunity to hear one another the way the other needs to be heard in addition to getting to know your partners sensitivities so you may work together instead of against one another. Communication mishaps teach you about yourself.

A women who knows how to love and to be loved understands that there are peaks and valleys and relationships grow in spurts and sometimes slowly and no matter this will require nurturing.  This doesn’t mean she is perfect or will always say the right thing, or that she won’t have her moments, or feel sad, blah, blah, blah.  What this means is that she believes in you and she knows your heart and adores you and there’s no one else she’d rather spend her time with at the end of her day.

A woman who knows how to love and be loved, will speak clearly on her behalf. She won’t speak belittling to you and she will do her best to use tenderness and direct words to let you know what she needs. She will fight for the two of you. She views she, as a we.  She will appreciate when you forgive her and read between the lines from time to time and that only makes her love you more.

A woman who knows how to love and be loved will want to love you how you need to be loved.  She will learn if she doesn’t quite have it down. She will hear you and do her best to give you exactly what you need. This can be very scary for some men because that means all the old bullshit habits of defending yourself, of being heard, being right, being validated and appreciated just may be fulfilled. This tends to create a feeling of resistance because it’s too good to be true and perhaps they’ve been conditioned to be in fight mode vs. delight mode. Sometimes this can feel boring at first, but the truth is, this is the person that will stick by you in the fox hole.

A woman who knows how to love and be loved is whole without you, but loves her life and herself with you. She wants to make the nest cozy for the two of you, not just for her. She knows you add something magical and deeply meaningful to her life and would never undervalue your amazing gifts as they are a part of her soul.

A woman who knows how to be loved and to love, knows that when shit gets a little thick, she’s not going to threaten leaving, she not going to bolt at the first signs of clashing and she knows the value of working through a relationship when there is love, deep down to the core everlasting, love. She will forgive, not hold grudges and move forward so you may do the same.  So don’t be nervous by a little feist and fire from the belly for that is what keeps things real, passionate and strong like the root of a tree spiraling down into the earth to be seeded.

A woman who knows how to love and be loved will be strong for her and strong for you when life gets tough or you are down. She will support you, encourage you, be real with you and never withhold her love because she knows that is part of the steady foundation for building continuous trust between the two of you. She will never allow you to feel like you’re standing alone. She may let you figure you out things for yourself, but you will never be abandoned because it’s too much for her.

A woman who knows how to love and be loved, receives who you are, and lets’ you be that person, because she believes in the two of you and believes in you. She knows how she feels being loved by you and that this doesn’t always come easy for you but that you are her rock, you are her support, you are her sounding board, you are her strength as well, you are her fun, you are her passion, you are a part of each other. It just is…  She is a warrior of love, she is a defender, she is a gatherer, she is a pillar of strength, she holds the womb of comfort and sacredness just for you.  She is love and will be loved.  She will go down into the depths of muddy painful waters with you and rise to the top holding your hand.

So really, fuck these titled articles of how to love a girl who doesn’t know how to be loved. I know how to be loved and I know how to love. It’s time we stop labeling men and women like they are broken. We are healing, healers, feeling, feelers and require patience. We are not broken.  We just are…  Let’s love our men. Let’s love our women. Let’s love one another because it’s the most potent and magical feeling there is. 

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About the author

Julie Tartak

Julie Tartak, owner of Whole Soul Wellness. She uses an intuitive combination of Reiki, Soul Sessions and Nutritional Coaching which allows you the time you need to gain clarity while you receive the proper tools for real change. You get to explore what works for you and receive new perspectives to empower you to make better choices that will improve your outlook, health and happiness. Whole Soul Wellness is the most Nourishing gift you can give yourself and others!

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