As my son gets ready to board one of three flights to go from Koh Tao, Thailand to Bangkok and then from Bangkok to Melbourne and then from Melbourne to New Zealand, one learns to let go even while they are hanging on.
What does that mean exactly? It means that I still want his flight information while knowing I have no choice but to trust life will carry him from point A to point B. This is no easy feat for an ex-overworrier and someone who was raised to hold on tightly!
However, I have learned over this last year, that I have no control, no choice and that life is to be lived and loved and enjoyed and that worrying doesn’t actually stop anything from happening or un-happening as he still cracked his head open surfing, got food poisoning and was seriously dehydrated. He’s survived every night drinking with this best buddy and all their new friends. He has traveled from Australia to Thailand and met great people. He has managed to keep himself fed and sheltered. He became a Certified Scuba Diver. My son is capable and knows when he needs to reach out for a little help. He has grown into a completely new person that I will get to meet in 3 weeks.
Sigh… Even though the over-worrying has ended, the concerns remain. As his Mom, as my brothers sister, as an aunt, as all my parents daughter, and to many a friend, I realize that no amount of talking, no amount of questions, no amount of anything will ever halt what is to be. So grateful for my instincts, occasionally peppered with Mamabear WTF’s?, and OMG’s, and OH NO’s, and yet always the energetic connection and my heartfelt love for this kid transcends space and time. He knows. I know. We are connected.
Ahhh, the umbilical cord never really severs, it just stretches 7,688 Miles and beyond!
Forever a Mama,