Based on a true conversation tonight. I received permission to relay the context of this story as it’s not really my story to tell, but there is such value here.
A friend called me and she was struggling after having these words said to her “here’s the thing” and it left her unsettled. Words are powerful and trigger so much in us at a core level. W.O.R.D.S can trigger the obvious and hidden hurts of feelings we have yet to resolve or feelings we don’t want to associate with ourselves any longer.
My take, when emotions turn to rationalizing and rationalizing turns into excuses, excuses bottom out with a quick truth ending dialogue sometimes concluding with “here’s the thing”.
What exactly does that imply? Is that the bottom line? Yes, most often. Is that the moment we acquiesce to our feelings? Yes, we are done investing energy.
I believe it sums up the way we choose to convey a truth. A truth that we no longer care to address or indulge in. It’s a moving on statement. “Here’s the thing” really is a point of disconnect, an I’m at my limit and no amount of talking, no amount of discussion, pleading, begging, crying or negotiating is going to change the situation of what is.
If someone uses this phrase on you or vice verse, remember, a simple kindness is to use a tone of understanding and empathy towards the person who is on the receiving end. It’s OK to stand your ground but there is no need to dismiss or diminish another persons feelings while you are in the throws of trying to escape. Sincerity and a firm position in your desire to exit is a wonderful way of being clear and being true to your cause. If you add in a little compassion, I believe Karma will be on your side. Not everything in life is meant to be, how we handle it though builds character and valuable lessons.
I learn from my friends always and feel blessed that my friend was trusting enough to share this with me and then to let me share this with you. Such important reminders as to how much power words can carry when we attach feelings to the words we internalize.