Well, if there is one thing I’ve learned over this holiday season, is that I really do like myself regardless of what I do and don’t have. I spent a lot of time with myself, crying at first for the 24 hrs before Christmas day itself, then realizing I hold the key to leaving my house, on my own, without shame, on Christmas day. This was afterall my first holiday ever in my entire life without my son, without family, without friends, without a place to celebrate in a community and a space at the dinner table with my name on it.
The Light Bulb Moment of Who gives a fuck that I’m alone, family is in the Valley, son is abroad, friends and neighbors are gone doing their thing, I deserve to have the best day I can, was so freeing. No pressure. It turned out to be a wonder-ful day of talking to a few new faces, seeing movies, walking my dog and enjoying a warm coffee on a beautiful blue skied, brisk day in the PNW!
What hit me was that I was surrounded by love in a variety of ways. I spoke to family & friends, exchanged silly snapchat videos, I facebooked several others, the sunshine kissed my face and the trees all high fived me as I walked by them. That morning as I took a shower, I said outloud to the universe, “today, (Christmas) I invite only goodness, only energy that supports me and allows me to smile from the inside out”. Sure enough, that is exactly how my day presented itself to me. I felt warm, loved and grateful to have a car that works, money for the movies, food in my fridge and my belly, my loved ones are safe and healthy, my dog is a cute snugglebunny who needs a breathmint and the freedom to do what I want with my time. My life is good.
This was definitely a necessary and good experience as to what I really value, what I really want in my life and how I’ve always been a survivor and thriver!
I hope your days are filled with the many blessings life has to offer and may you always be present for the sunrise and sunset in your own life!
Love Julie, xo