As holidays approach and what used to be standard is no longer, I am acutely aware that my son is out in this world, living a dream and exploring an opportunity he manifested into reality. This is what we want for our children and we know the process is going to carry many emotions and we let go and hold on in only a way that we can.
Normally, I would be decorating the house for the Fall season and Halloween, however I chose this year to leave behind the hype and colorful pieces of celebration. Why? The only conclusion I’ve come up with is that I feel like I have outgrown this particular feeling of needing and wanting this for myself. Part of the joy was the collaboration of parties and decor with festive neighbors who had kids and we were all taking a part in the community hallows eve of doing it for the kids and it made us happy to see them happy, but mostly for me, it was the pure comfort of knowing my son quietly appreciated the fun end result of having a home filled with warmth.
So, with a nostalgic twinkle in my eyes and holding space in my heart, I watch other parents with their little ones, I watch them laughing, I watch them taking part in these rituals that are really silly conceptually overall (whole different blog!), I watch them form their traditions that help weave the fabric of family that I once had the pleasure of creating as well.
There are a few other little birds (my nieces & step daughters) my son and I used to celebrate these moments with as well. These memories are embedded in my heart. Funniest part is, I am only at Halloween in my nostalgia! There is still Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years left!
As the year continues on, my heartspace grows to epic proportions of love and gratitude and I make my way by seeing the joy in others, creating some new traditions this year, knowing that I am so blessed and have great new neighbors, great friends near and far, activities to keep me busy, time for creations that are being birthed and born in my business life, volunteering opportunities and family that I will see when they come to visit. I find peace knowing that my son is safe, sound and enjoying his creation of memories and making new friends.
This is just a snippet into my open heart of an empty nesters first season without her kiddo. Remember time flies and so do our little birds. Enjoy Every Moment,
Love Julie xo
(PS) Doggy Love Moment: My dog is like a 24 hour toddler so I always have him to love on and luckily for me, he accepts every pet, every kiss, every hug!