Tag - yourself

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Never Be Afraid To Stand Up for Yourself!
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Soul, Rumi, Mystic & Love

Never Be Afraid To Stand Up for Yourself!

Never be afraid to stand up for yourself!  You know when someone insults your soul because it hurts in a way that makes you doubt yourself and goes against what you know to be true to your core, to your life energy.  You are worth a relationship that feeds your soul, supports your dreams and thoughts, and is kind to your standards from their heart to your heart, not just their idea of what a relationship is…

You are your best advocate. If you feel like you’ve been insulted, odds are, you have.  If you feel like you’re being belittled, odds are, you are.

Common symptoms of being controlled and manipulated: 

  • If you find yourself dropping friends and taking on his/her friends
  • If you find you’ve changed your clothing, shoes and certain physical aspects of yourself for his/her appeasement
  • If you pass off his/her passive aggressive behaviors as “oh that’s just part of who he/she is”
  • If you find yourself making excuses for his/her insensitivity towards your feelings over anything
  • If you find yourself thinking about the nice things he/she does for you as a compensation for the shitty things he/she says or does
  • If he/she buys items for you that may be more appropriate for his/her comfort level, not yours  (i.e) certain types of shoes, clothes, music selections, etc.)
  • If you have tell yourself “oh they are just a wounded little child on the inside, I understand”. Well, we’re all little children on the inside and that is no excuse for abusing your kind heart
  • If you’re on his/her time frame.  Your events in life are of non-importance and any inconvenience you have is ridiculous on your part – NOT!
  • If his/her family doesn’t really like your partner.  There could be a reason why. Not always, but listen to what they are saying
  • If you are not allowed to have friends of the same sex due to the others insecurities (this includes your job, workout environment, school functions, etc)
  • If you are bullied out of your beliefs through belittling and zero compassion from where you came or even the kindness to listen with a full compassionate heart
  • If your partner uses phrases like “do it for me”, “women/men your age don’t…fill in the blank of whatever applies”, “if you loved me, you’d…” “That’s not normal” and other fun phrases that make you believe you’re the one who needs to change.
  • If your partner cannot apologize because they really believe no matter what they say or do, they don’t owe you any recognition of your feelings
  • If you feel relaxed in your time alone and he/she just wants to know why you need time to yourself
  • If he/she implements double standards like it’s OK for them to go away with their friends but not you, because men/women may be predators to you
  • If your partner tries to control circumstances for their convenience and steam rolls over anyone in the process, that’s a NO Bueno!

Nothing can trump compassion and  understanding from you partner in a relationship, however, if their means of communication is really a source of control and passive aggressive banter, how loving is that really?

It’s hard to admit that we all make poor choices in mates sometimes.  Be your own best friend and advocate of self. YOURSELF!

I have been there and it just rubs me the wrong way to see it happen to someone else. Especially when he/she has children as well. One can only hide their true nature for so long and then like a balloon that pops, you realize you’ve been manipulated out of things you believe, who you are, what you want, torn down and built back up to someone elses’ model of you.

Do what feels right to you, to your heart, to your soul, to your gut.  Ignoring the little voice on the inside doesn’t make anothers violating behavior dissipate, it only feeds your little voice a louder tone that can eventually burst into dis-ease, dis-comfort and dis-cord with one’s true happy self.

OBEY THE LITTLE VOICE!

 

 

 

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Soul, Rumi, Mystic & Love

Who was Rumi and why should we take to heart what he offers in words?

Rumi was a Passionate, Persian, Mystic and Theologian who in the 13th Century (Medieval times) spoke words of his love of God and the distance between them.  His writings have been translated through time and are considered spiritual and poetic throughout the world as he speaks the language of love.

When you lose all sense of self

the bonds of a thousand chains will vanish.

Lose yourself completely,

return to the root of the root

of your own soul ~

~Rumi~

His poems not only can be related to ones relationship with God, Spirit, Source, whatever you choose or not  choose to personalize, but his words are works that speak to the heart of man.  They are words of longing for your love, for your souls fire and words to express how deeply your passions entwine with another.

The reason I am posting this is because I believe we are longing to belong in the arms of a beloved, to ourselves.  Whether it be spiritual, physical world, or self fulfilled, we are longing to be deeply loved and the first step to loving another person or spirit or God, or whatever you feel, is knowing that we can love ourselves deserving, without longing and suffering. To love ourselves in this way first, to know you are enough and to focus on your loving aspects and what you have to offer can then become a beautiful marriage to Rumi’s words. Rumi’s words speak to each individual in a variety of ways and to apply such loving letters to yourself is to know you are embraced by love all around you. Your beloved is you and all that you are.  Your beloved is your faith.  Your beloved is your family. Your beloved are your friends, all humans, animals, nature, earth, sky, north, south, east, west.  Your beloved is that which is to be-loved by your hearts deepest desires, your soul.

*Self Care Mantra – I will Be-Loved from myself, as I am Love*

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